I am a coach, public speaker, group facilitator and writer based in Vancouver, BC. I work with women and men of all ages on their sense of purpose, quality of their relationships and personal empowerment.
The truth is that the only way your life is going to change is when you finally decide to do somethingabout it.
After years of experience and leadership in personal development, I've seen that therapy and positive thinking can only get you so far. There is no doubt that these are useful tools that can propel you forward in life, but real action is required to get results.
You can spend years examining why you started sabotaging yourself, analyzing the ways in which your parents shamed you, or lamenting over how many times your lunch was stolen in kindergarten.
That psychological exploration will uncover the beliefs you have developed about yourself and the world around you. It will show you the ways in which you have royally screwed yourself and held back. If you haven’t looked at these aspects of your development, I would be honoured to examine that with you.
But once you have, then what? What happens when you have all of that mapped out and a greater sense of awareness?
The question becomes:
How are you going to move forward? When are you going to stop buying your own bullshit and make change?
Whether it's quitting your job, discovering your purpose, finding the love of your life, starting a business, or having a difficult conversation - you can do it, but you can't always do it alone.
I'm ferociously committed to your happiness and self-expression. At this point, probably even more than you are.
You know what gets me fired up?
When people say the two magic words:
Why? Because they're signal flares from the edges of your comfort zone - the upper limits of your beliefs, self-love, and self-esteem. They're excuses. And excuses are the only thing that's been holding you back.
Your excuses slam the doors to your dreams; to unleashing your potential and becoming the person you want to be.
They rob you of joy and healthy, loving relationships.
Excuses keep you safe from doing something different and venturing into the unknown to claim your greatness.
They suffocate your sense of self expression and limit your ability to create meaningful work.
I know because I've been making excuses for years. I am a certified professional.
In my romantic relationships, I'd bite my tongue, repress my instincts, and sometimes stay in it long past the expiration date. I'd contort myself to fit into them, rather than finding one that fit me.
At work, I told myself it wasn't possible to make a living doing what I loved. I was so caught up in doing what I was told to in school, by my parents, and society at large, instead of pursuing what was aligned with my own truth and what felt uniquely right for me.
At home, I spent years of my life immersed in video games, movies, television shows and pornography. When I thought about going to the gym, cleaning my room or finishing a project, I would procrastinate with one of the activities above. I truly had deep resistance to putting myself out there, doing the work that needed to be done and sharing my gifts.
After getting a degree in marketing, a top-floor apartment downtown, and a soul-sucking desk job for a Fortune 500 company, I found myself depressed, frustrated and wanting more. I tried travelling the world as a professional poker player in hopes of making a big score and beating the rat race, but it was just another heartless trap.
I had won and lost tens of thousands of dollars only to find myself living back in my parent’s basement at the age of 27. I resurrected myself from those circumstances and continued to explore other job opportunities that were unfulfilling and simply paid the bills.
Eventually, I found myself in a high-pressure sales job in the automotive industry. I remember looking down at the largest paycheque I had ever seen in my life and feeling a cavernous emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I was finally making big money and it meant nothing.
"Why am I doing this?" I thought. "To what end? Why am I selling my soul for digits and paper?"
In that moment, I saw myself running on the hamster wheel - like I always had been. I realized that the money was completely meaningless without being backed by purpose and values.
From there, everything didn't magically change overnight. I had already been doing years of deep work, navigating hard conversations, riding the fleeting highs and crushing lows. But it was all made possible by persistence and tough love from a few incredible people.
I didn't really believe I could do it. I thought I had to check off an endless list of prerequisites before I could have the life I dreamed of. I told myself that I wasn’t ready and that ‘one day’ it will happen.
I had so much bullshit and I had it all backwards.
The most empowered way to approach your life is to sketch, hand craft and assemble the way that you want your life to be. Based on your deep personal yearning, you can begin creating possibilities for yourself and taking small steps to push you towards that potential. It is entirely up to you and you can start right now.
There are times in life where we experience enough suffering that we decide to face our own mind, ask for help, give up our excuses and finally do something about it.
Success is measured by the gap between your current actions and your best effort. It's not about money, cars, possessions, or awards. It's how you answer this question:
"Are you doing your best? Are you actually fucking trying?"
It's fine to grind it out at the job you don't care about or go through the motions with the partner that leaves you wanting more. You will survive and get by. You don't HAVE to change anything and most people won’t. But... if that's the way YOU thought, you wouldn't be reading this. You wouldn’t still be with me on this page.
I'm all about drawing boundaries, being loyal to the truth, embracing radical honesty, and leading a purpose-driven life that doesn't compromise your self-worth and integrity.
I'm not going to bullshit you. The life you want is going to take courage and consistent effort. You need to dig deep, but my hands will be on a shovel next to yours.
Besides, what would you prefer: silently suffering through more of the same, or taking the first step toward your best self?
I chose the former for a very long time. I let fear and a lack of self-esteem keep me cornered and running in circles. I figured that I had to make a certain amount of money per year or take enough courses to actually begin. I thought I had to have a list of things checked off before I could be the person that I wanted to be. I waited 12 years to start doing what I felt called deeply to me.
In many ways, I wish that I hadn’t waited so long, but that is my path. This time, the choice is yours.
When I finally took that step, I quickly learned that, with a little help, it's possible to make a quantum leap in a very, very short time. All you have to do is be ready and willing.
You are not in this alone. Together, anything is possible.